•marriage•

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We get so many questions about our marriage. "How do we keep the spark alive, how do we make time for each other and our individual needs? What's our secret?" Truth is, we have no fucking clue. Lol We have our disagreements on almost everything haha. I mean we ARE two different people, who have two different opinions and beliefs. Luckily one thing we almost always agree on is how we raise our kids, we always have our babies best interest and well being at hand when making parenting decisions. So thankfully we agree on that for the most part. But when it comes to other things it's the complete opposite 😆 From deciding which route to take to get from point A to point B on a map, to picking out furniture. I'm not even kidding about that first one, we ALWAYS think our own choice is the shortest in distance and time. If we are driving In separate cars (which happens sometimes because Melanie usually meets up with us after work if we are out and about) we take our own routes home to see who's option was best. I know, I know, sooo petty hahaha.

Although our pictures seem perfect as if we don't have any problems, thats totally not the case. One thing is for sure,  whatever crap we are going through we still love each other unconditionally, we will still smile and hug for a picture. Which works out because it usually helps to bring down our invisible swords. In the beginning of our marriage and way before meeting Melanie, I always said that if ever I get married and I'm not happy I'd get a divorce. Simple. Right? Wrong! After being in this marriage with Mel and starting our family, I realized that you can't just simply call it quits because your in a rough patch or because we gave it a few shots and things haven't changed.

Melanie had a completely different view on marriage, she doesn't believe in divorce. Now I'm not talking about staying with your spouse if they turn out to be some psycho and is just overall unhealthy for you and your kids. Lol I'm talking about if a marriage still has trust, love, and respect then everything else is fixable. We disagreed for a bit on this subject. I've always been the type of person to simply remove myself from anything and everything that no longer made me happy. Relationships, jobs, sitcoms. (So not kidding, if a show starts becoming boring and I no longer enjoy watching it, I will literally cut all emotional ties I have to the characters and delete it off my que. Lol. I don't care if I am 3 years and 56 episodes deep)  Looking back at our obstacles and struggles we've overcome, I stop and wonder what was I thinking!? If I would of quit when we tried and failed at fixing one of our problems we wouldn't be here today, and today I'm fucking happy!

There are days where I'm not the happiest I could be. Let's face it, shit happens. Lack of sleep, lack of a hot uninterrupted meal, lack of a calming and unrushed hot shower can make me a grouchy unhappy person.  Then to top it off Melanie wants to talk crap to me about how she can't find the tweezers because they aren't in its correct spot. There are days where we are on totally different wave lengths, like one of us wanting sexy time and the other wanting to knock out. So on THOSE days is when we can't give up, when we don't quit. Those days we keep pushing for the days where the kids have matching naps which gives me time to clean and cook and take a crap in peace. Which results in happy me and refreshed me who is ready to take on the day! The me who is ready to hop into that shower at 10 o'clock at night shave my legs and treasures so that I'm all freshened up for some alone time with my love. Even if its only about an hour. Judge me if you want but I just don't feel sexy when I have boogers smeered on my shirt and sticky hair to match.

As soon as I began to think of marriage and divorce like Melanie did, I noticed I started looking for solutions instead of just letting the problems sit there and pile up. We talk about it and get though it. We learned that if we eliminate divorce as an option... we will never result to it. People constantly comment "goals" under our family pictures. I hope that each and every one of those is said with the passion to truly want it. To work hard at it everyday, and to never give up. 

 

 

 

 

•Nest Session•

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Kate Walser from @lilbirdyphotography had this amazing vision where people would allow her to come into their nests and capture the REAL moments; no posing and no planning. She calls this a "NEST SESSION". We are so honored to have had the chance to let her come into our sacred nest and spend the day with us.  <3

•you're doing an amazing job•

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Some of us wake up in the morning, get dressed, eat some breakfast and then go spend 8 or so hours at work. Then there are some of you, like Vanessa, who wake up in the morning and immediately start your full time job of raising your kids. No breaks. FULL TIME, all day, every day. 

There are some days where everything goes smoothly and the kids behave so well, but MOST days that's not the case. 

I can just imagine how her days go: she wakes up, immediately changes 2 diapers. Migrates to the kitchen to serve Jax some fruit for breakfast while having Ero attached at the hip. She then puts Ero down with enough time to eat her breakfast just before Jax signals her that he is done (by attempting to fling his plate across the room-- but her fast reflexes catch the plate before its lifted off of his high chair table). She get him out of the high chair as Ero wants some boobie time. Jax, still not used to "sharing" his boobies, sees his sister and immediately begins to whine because now he too wants to nurse. What she does to console him while still breastfeeding Ero, I HAVE NO IDEA. All this and it hasn't even been an hour since they all woke up. When one goes down for a nap the other has a burst of energy and vise versa. On top of all of this, Jax is at that age where he enjoys testing us. He stands up on his bed, we tell him to sit and he does so, but only to stand right back up with a huge smile on his facing waiting for our reaction. This happens over and over again. 

How can I expect Vanessa to keep her cool throughout the day? To not get frustrated or overwhelmed? I DONT. Not in the least bit. I can't even imagine how hard it is for her. YES, having the opportunity to stay home with your little people instead of sending them to day care is such a privilege and you should all be grateful that you're in a situation in where that is a possibility, but that doesn't mean it's not difficult.  

I will now tell you all what I tell Vanessa: 

You can't expect to get anything done throughout your day. As long as the kids are fed and cared for you've gone ABOVE AND BEYOND. I understand how your days go and I wouldn't come home and be upset that there is a mess or the dishes are all dirty. Now if the kids weren't fed and the dishes were clean then we have a problem haha :)  

I guess what I'm trying to say to all those of you who stay at home with your kids is... thank you.  I appreciate you. Nothing you do, goes unnoticed and you're doing an amazing job. 

Baby girl, don't stress yourself out. Cut yourself some slack. You are the most amazing mother to our two beautiful kids. They adore you, as do I. There will be hard days, but on those days just take a deep breath and remember that I love you, that you have 2 healthy kids who think the world of you. Be happy and smile. You may think it doesn't affect your mood but just smiling works. I promise.